1. The middle-aged man running to work with a heavy-looking bag on his back
Chill.
2. The determined-looking woman speed-walking to work in her big runners with her lunch stored in a Brown Thomas bag
If you possess a Brown Thomas bag, it is mandatory to bring it to work 1,000 times.
3. The person who is adamant that they just topped up their Leap Card and sorry, but it makes absolutely no sense that it’s saying there’s not enough money on it
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we’ve heard it all before. Move along.
4. The jaded bus driver who has seen it all and is having none of it
(Deep down, though, we suspect he has a heart of gold.)
5. The young schoolgirl who not only has a better phone than you, but also has Beats headphones and, wait, is that a latte she’s drinking?
When you were 14, you were still getting to grips with tea without sugar. Some of these Dublin teens are too sophisticated for their own good.
6. The man in his mid twenties who you briefly think is Conor McGregor before quickly realising that every second man in Dublin looks like that now
7. The poor craytur who has just come up to the Big Smoke for college and has been having his dinner in Centra on Dame Street every day since he arrived
Don’t worry, friend.
Awkwardly eating €1.99 chicken fillet rolls alone is all part of growing up.
8. A man you’re nearly certain was on Fair City once upon a time
Bela, is that you?
9. The aggressively friendly youngster waving desperately in your direction, trying to get you to set up a direct debit with a charity
Them: “Hi! Hi there! Lovely day, isn’t it? Can I just have a quick chat with you for one sec?”
You: “I’m in a rush, sorry.” *continues strolling*
10. The confused tourist standing on, like, Nassau Street wondering where the Guinness Storehouse is
Oh dear.
11. And the put upon Dubliner trying to explain the easiest way to get to the Guinness Storehouse from Nassau Street
“So you walk up that way and make a left? No, a right. I swear to God I live here.”
12. The hipster lad from Dublin 8 who clearly has no friends to tell him that his beard has gotten out of hand
Just trim it back a little, love.
13. The lucky sods you see enjoying pints while you’re running out to Dunnes to pick up a €3.50 meal deal
It’s 1.30pm on a Wednesday. Why aren’t these people in work? Do they not have jobs/adult commitments?
And, more importantly, why can’t we be them?
*sigh*
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